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January 5, 2010

Photobucket hosted by Should Be Reading

http://shouldbereading.wordpress.com/
Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

   *Grab your current read
   *Open to a random page
   *Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
   *BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too    much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
   *Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

My Teaser:
  "After all this time?  He's dead, don't you get it?
  From Vanished by Joseph Finder  pg.162

Talk & Thoughts Free Avatars

I started this blog as a "personal journal" of books read.  Due to all I have learned and adding my name to J.Kaye's Book Blog,  referral list and entering challenges and memes, my blog has been taken to a higher level.

I will be facing some hurdles in the near future.  So I have decided that I will be jotting my thoughts and emotions as I go through this.  I am sorry to bore anyone who reads this but I feel it will be theraputic for me.
I have had 3 back operations due to the original injury in 1979 when I ruptured a disc due to lifting a patient.  By profession I was an RN but have been disabled for 10 years.  My 2nd back operation was a fusion as I was told that I would not be able to carry a child during pregnancy.  So..fusion it was and spent 2 months in a body cast (from knees to neck) but it was worth it.  I have 2 beautiful sons.  But the toll on my back from the pregnacies did more damage and needed a 3rd fusion.  I was lucky to have a top notch doc (he taught internationally and has written books about spines) who asked permission to try a new procedure on me if the damage was extensive, which it was.  I was the 3rd patient to have this surgery and put into a study group.  Twenty-three years later.....and the years have deteriorated more discs causing excruciating pain.  After seeing 2 neurosurgeons, they recommened 3 options, starting with the least invasive and least risky.
So yesterday hubby and I drove out of state to see the doc Photobucket for implantation of a nerve stimulator.  He informed me that I am not a candidate for either the nerve stimulator or the next option, implantation of a morphine pump.  I have to respect him because he could have just done the surgery and collected the $$$.  But he was honest and I knew deep down (especially since seeing all the CT scans, etc) what I needed and what was wrong,  sometimes it just sucks being a nurse because you know the truth.  So I am waiting for an appt. to speak to a surgeon for the procedure of another fusion.  But after 20+ yrs of scar tissue growing around the plates/screws located in my back, it will be a very complicated, extensive and even risky operation.  I have a lot to think about before I make this huge decision.   So since I am unable to do even minor daily chores this blog, reading, my family, friends, and now my new blogger friends, will be my sanity and getting me through this.  Sorry for rambling and that I will be posting on this journey I am faced with. Thank you for your time if you read this.  Now that I got all that off my chest, I will go back to my fun things...and be posting about Teaser Tuesdays.

2 comments:

(Diane) Bibliophile By the Sea said...

Wow sorry you have to deal with this disability and pain issue. I hope this blog brings you happy times and takes your mind off the pain somewhat.

CMash said...

Thank you Diane...my mantra has been and still is "everything happens for a reason". I truly believe that when I stumbled onto a book blog and the journey from that day has helped tremendously. It truly takes my mind off my physical issue and also helps me get thru the day since it is difficult to even do some minor daily household chores. Plus meeting the nicest people who have a love of books that I have is also a plus.